story of siddhi

8/12/2019 Story of Siddhi

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What to do with my life this question may be bothering a lot of people just coming out of

college or may be when they have to choose subjects in class X or may be when they have

to decide the college

But here I am already done college , doing job 25 yrs old now and nothing

!till searching for that something which will give me the satisfaction"" something which I loo#

forward to do every morning when I get up

I don$t #now"" I am not able to find it"" everyday I get up and thin# may be today I will find

what I am loo#ing for but nothing

%hey say that universe will give sign and you just have to pic# it up"" why the hell I am not

able to pic# that sign""

I #now that I am not alone in this dilemma"" and there must be lots of people going through

it daily btw I forgot to introduce myself I am !iddhi right"" not sufficient ""

&et me see where to start from"" I thin# born and brought up we can s#ip or else all the

pages will cover only my child hood yup been a naughty #id and did every possible pran# "

'nyways"" engineering graduate"" yeah another one"" engineering has become a fad"" and

boo#s by engineers another one I #now you must be thin#ing better put it down

now"same old bollywoodish story"" thrown with a mi( of college life with little bit masala

added

But seriously those boo#s have become li#e a religion everyone is writing "" everyone is

reading"" and all of them bestseller well I have even cursed myself for not e(ploring life

from that perspective or not paying proper attention to bollywood movies"" or I could have

written a boo#

'nyways no masala here plain boring life suc#ing monotony

!o I thought ta#e a brea# from a job and try everything"" right from selling stuff from home,

to writing articles for maga)ine"" authoring a boo# may be learning mystic sciences and

become a healer or sharpening my analytical s#ills and become a detective"" or may be a

magician who can da))le everyone or may be nothing just li#e jughead" !leep, eat and

sleep *

!o here I am doing all that and putting my e(periences in my diary"" which may come

handy later on for someone else who may find a vocation out of it


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Well all the best if you are planning to read on my diary"" it may have its consequence""

may be you also decide to leave your job and become a detective

!o you still want to go through this"" alright come aboard and I will ta#e you with me to my

life$s journey"""

Characters

Siddhi

Ma

Dad

Ishika

Rohit

Chinmay Verma

Mrs Verma

Siddharth Kapur

Pooja


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Chapter 1

Hit by the Iceberg

%his all started a year bac# "" +ortunately or unfortunately because of recession hitting us

li#e iceberg hit the %itanic"""

Well"" you #now manager calls you up""" tal#s about lots of stuff"" and then after sugar

coating the words tells you that you need to start loo#ing for other options"" to #eep it

simple"" lets say I was thrown out of office""" and was on streets thin#ing what to do ne(t""

'nd as was e(pected nothing came""" no lightning struc#"" no ideas came flashing""

I pic#ed up my bag and well wal#ed bac#"" right""" see I have already started saving

money for bad days- to my so called home"" rented apt"" small one at that-

Was I living alone""" no absolutely not"" in this world of high inflation and low salaries"" living

alone is not an option"""

!o time to introduce you to my roommate Ishi#a""well"" lets s#ip the introduction for the

moment when she enters the scene"""

right now I am entering alone in an apt which loo#s li#e a furnace"" its on top floor and its

summer and its gurgaon why the hec# did I agree for a top floor"" well for one simple

reason"" that when you have job everything loo#s rosy"" and it was my very first job""

I am not sure what others would have done in such a scenario but I thin# the reactions

would have not been any different"" throwing the bag forcefully""" cursing everyone you #now

in office"" as#ing ./0 why me and not anybody else""" and well cry""" come on crying is a

girl$s birthright"" and well it ta#es the steam off"" so I cried and cried for almost li#e 2 hrs""

yeah that much""

%hen I thought to share this news with my parents"" yes so boring"" 'nyways I called my

mom and told about the whole thing"" and cried some more" he he


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'nd as great parents are """ they never question you and have uttmost faith in you and your

potential""'ccording to them the whole world is against their children"" so comes a

whole 111 of not to worry lines"" everything will be alright lines"" and we are here for you

lines"" Well you got the gist"""

I felt much better about that call"""" at least it stopped the crying""

'nd then Ishi#a came""" my very room mate I tal#ed about earlier"" not let me introduce her

properly""" !he is around my age"" again an engineer"" sometimes I fell half of the people

who are graduating and doing job are engineers"" yeah I #now its not true""" but there are

too many of us these days""" gone are the charming days when parents introduced their

#ids with choda seena or uncha sar"" meet my son daughter"" pursuing engineering- well

well""

so Ishi#a is an engineer"" yup you guesses right "" !oftware engineer!3- with a 46 firm""

nice pay pac#et"" wor#"" coffee brea#s""" full day '6"" gtal#"" gmail"" faceboo#"" and yes

wor#"""0ont get me wrong we do wor#"" its just that our wor#ing style has become very

advanced"" we multitas# very efficiently

'lright you need a little better description to visualise her"" now I can not give 0aniel !teele

#ind of description but let me try""she is about 5$57, slender, li#es to wear suits mostly now

dont even thin# she is behen ji just by the fact that she li#es to wear suits"" I #now you

guys-" !he is witty, always ready with correct answers, and if there is ever any verbal fight

please girls dont get into that cat fight as shown in reality %8- she is the li#ely winner""

smart, methodical, practical, sensible, spontaneous but she is a little aloof" 'lright this is

what I can tell now but I am sure more of her character will come alive as we go through

the phases of my life part of which too# place in gurgaon""" oh"" 0id I not tell you we will be

going places""fantastic places"" but more on that later


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!o, yes going bac# to where we left the scene Ishi#a entered the apartment we both have

separate #eys"" you never #now when the other is coming"" typical !3s-

3nough of my rumblings, time for some actual conversation between two human beings"

9:ey, Ishi#a7

9:ey !iddhi7

9:ow was your day7

9usual" othing out of ordinary" 0eadline of my current project is approaching, so couple of

wee#s ahead are pretty hectic" :ow about you17

9Well, I had a life altering e(perience today which will result into changing my official status

on faceboo# and twitter from employed to currently loo#ing for wor#" In short, I got sac#ed"7

9Why"" What happened17

9Well, in words of my manager"" the unit I was wor#ing in, was loosing money so needed

to shutdown" Its a strategic business decision" 'nd though he #now I am invaluable to

company, he still have to let me go"" blah blah blah7

90ont worry !iddhi, there are plenty of jobs around" I am sure it will not be tough for you to

get one"7

9;eahhhhhh"" lets see7

96ome on now"" how about some dinner7

9o yaar, don$t feel li#e" ;ou carry on, I$ll have something later7

Ishi came and sat beside me"

9're you feeling o# !iddhi7 ow seriously this question is highly over rated"


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better still, other person will say yeah, am fine just li#e that to let other person leave him

alone" 'nd he goes on happy in the fact that he made everything o#-

9;eah, I will be o# in sometime7 /f course I am not feelig o#-

9;eah, I understand" ow don$t be sad" 3verything will be alright" .od must have made

some better plans for you" 6ome, eat something7

Well, I didn$t need much convincing" I was hungry and no boss, I am not going to coo# food

I am sure you must be thin#ing of us moving to the #itchen and preparing something-

I am e(pert at many things but at coo#ing, I suc#ed and I blame it on the fact that I was

busy studying so could not get time to indulge in these mundane activities li#e coo#ing"

Well, later on you will come to #now that I suc# at lots of things and no reason to justify that

too"" alas"

We get tiffin from tiffin center which claims it to be li#e your ghar #a #hana" %rue that it

contains our very own dal, rice, chapati and veggies" But thats where the similarity ends"

lets not even tal# about how it tastes or how are we able to eat it day after day and too

even when we have to pay for it"

'fter having a hearty meal pun intended-" We went to our rooms, switched on the laptops

and started browsing" %his is a ritual one has to do before sleeping, almost li#e a prayer"

o matter how tired you are, or downright depressed or even when you are fired, you just

have to do it" !o, I logged in gmail, faceboo#, twitter, yahoo""" etc etc, chec#ed for

messages" 'nd then after much deliberation decided against updating my status or tweeting

about it" I guess I was not ready for more 9're you o#ies7


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%hough I thought I may not be able to sleep, it was a very turbulent day for me but guess

what I have discovered another advantage of crying" ;ou become very tired after e(ercising

so many muscles of your face and body in the process of crying, that sleep comes easily"

'nd so I slept li#e a quietly sin#ing titanic in the ocean"


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Chapter

!hat sinking "ee#ing a"ter being hit $ %othing to do

:ow quic#ly one moves from a normal healhty person to behaving li#e a 0evdas" %he job

which you hated till the day before yesterday, the job you cursed, which seemed to be full

of monotony, now becomes your beloved


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9.reat, see you then7

I have not given any definite answer to them" But said I will seriously consider about it"

%hey didnt agree first but later on they have to give up as always in front of their #ids" But

they said they will call bac# again to #now my answer"

I cursed my manager, company and that damned job once again"""" which anyways I am

doing since the time I got up"

&oo#s li#e my stomach also joined in the protest as I could hear its grumbling sound" I

loo#ed at the cloc# and it was already afternoon, wasted so much time" :igh time I should

get up and at least settle one complain" I went to the #itchen to prepare 4aggi with a hot

cup of tea"" &ong live the people who invented 4aggi" What would the world would have

been without 4aggi, it has been the constant companion, saviour to all wal#s of people" It

ma#es everyone feel li#e a great coo#" It comes in handy whether its e(am time, or brea#

up time or ma#e up time or just friends sitting together gossiping or snac#s time"" 'nytime is

4aggi time"" 'nd no, 4aggi has not given me any commission to right about it in this

novel"" Its just that its has been with me for so long that I even can not contemplate my life

without it"

'fter my stomach is settled than#s for it to raise the complain, as I can thin# more clearly

now-, I started thin#ing of what should I do" .o bac# to my parents or stay here"

Well, I did nothing" *ust do)ed off thin#ing about it and got up when Ishi#a entered home"

9:ey you sleeping beauty" .et up, its > in the evening" :ow come you are sleeping late1 I

can see that you had 4aggi for lunch" ow get up and get dressed, we will go out

somewhere for dinner" %his staying at home and sleeping will not do you any good" ;ou

need some fresh air"7

9'aahh"" is it already >" I have been sleeping for a long time" &oo#s li#e this thin#ing part

tires me" Why the hell they dont have one subject on increasing your thin#ing capacity or

ma#ing your brains wor# in adverse situation in engineering"7


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9;ep, good idea"&ets suggest this in the ne(t 'lumni meet" =ight now just get up and get

going"7

9o# o#"" give me a few minuted" I will get ready" Btw whats the plan" Where are we heading

to7 I as#ed while selecting what to wear"

9o plan" 's today is official off for tiffin service, so thought why not go out and eat" 'nd

anyways, eating out is way better than coo#ing" 'nother reason being, you already had

4aggi one time as your meal" !o, thought will be little considerate on you"" lol7

9'lright7

Ishi#a is a dear friend, I #now that she is just trying to cheer me up" o matter how bad

your life become, friends are always there to help you out and ma#e you feel special" If

nothing else, they will help you fight out your loneliness by giving company wanted or

unwanted-

'nyways, we headed out to this place called ?&ovely restaurant$ in sector@A which is btw is

at wal#ing distance from our place, hence quite convenient" Its strategic pricing made it a

favorite amongst the youngsters who are staying alone because of their job" .ood tasty

food is an added bonus, please don$t go the name" !ometimes names can be also

deceptive li#e appereances

's it was only >CDE pm, so it was not much crowded and it was a relief to me today" I was

not in the mood for all that noise and hassle" We gave our order and were waiting for food

when Ishi#a initiated the conversation"

9&oo# at this place, so empty right now" In 2 hrs time, you wont be able to see your own

feet here" We should always come at this time only, no waiting time, fast service and best

of all a place to sit"7

9;eah7

9+inally saturday after a full long hectic wee#" :ow about a movie tomorrow"" what do you

thin#" in the new mall which has just opened last wee#" 3veryone was tal#ing about how big

and all it is"" so that ways we can watch the movie as well as see the mall""" and do some


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o#"" getting bac# from where we started""" me and Ishi#a in ?&ovely restaurant$"" yeah we

drifted a lot from the original story"" but told you my nature"""

!o after I had something in my stomach who says only the way to man$s heart is

accessible through stomach-, I was in better spirits"" and I told Ishi#a about my day"

94y parents called up today" they want me to come home, ta#e some rest and they start

applying later"7

9:mm, 0id they say anything else also7

9o, nothing7

9'nd you dont have any in#ling of the fact why are they calling you home7

9What why"" they are worried for me"" thats why7

Ishi#a started smiling her naughty smile

9!iddhi, you are so naive" &et me elaborate it for you a little bit more" I thin# they are

thin#ing of finding a match for you"" hoorraayyy7

9o way7

9Well I have a very definite philosophy behind the whole scenario"7

9'nd will you please enlighten us mortal beings with your wonder #nowledge Ishi#a 4a7

9Why not / thou .od$s children"7

9're you going to tell or I will punch you in face7

9/# /#" !ee from parent$s perspective any time is a good time to start searching a suitable

groom for their daughter and to train her to become a good housewife" By training the girl I

mean, the stuff which we didnt do in home li#e helping in #itchen, tidying the house etc

claiming to be immersed in studies always" 's the daughter is staying with them its more

easier to meet prospective in@laws and finalise the things" 'lso in India, mostly its the girl

who has to shift her job to the city where his husband is wor#ing trend is slightly changing

now but seriouly not much, still it is mostly male dominated-, so anyways girl has to find the

job then why not wait for sometime and find the job after marriage itself"7

9oh oh"" now I get it7

7/h /h you get it ""lol7

9ow, I really need to thin# and weigh my options7


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Ishi#a smiled" 96ool """I would be glad to help you out in searching"" may be I will be able to

find someone for me as well7

9'nd what will happen to =ohit"" 9

9/h, he is there in waiting list na"" let me just have a loo# around" 4ay be I will find

someone better loo#ing with a better ban# balance7 she was all naughty while saying that"

It made me smile after full DE hours" Imagine only few hours changes everything in life and

yes, =ohit is Ishi#a$s boyfriend" :e will come in and go, now don$t loose patience, you will

get to meet him soon"

9.reat"" now no more discussion on marriage" &ets pay the bill and move out from here7

'fter coming bac#, Ishi#a went to her room and I came to my mine" %his new perspective

on my parent$s thin#ing left me more bewildered than before" %his perspective only

deepened my 0evdas li#e feeling" Why 11 's if you didn$t guess" 6ome on, I am only 25"" I

have so many things to see in life and to settle down nooowwww"" bad timing

I still remember when my jijubrother@in@law- got a transfer and my sister has to resign from

the job" 4y parents and even my jiju$s parents thought that it was the perfect time for jiju

and didi to start a family" 'nd their arguments were soemthing li#e this"

9Beta ji, .od has plans for everyone and ta#e this as a positive sign from him" ow you

can start your family without having to deal out with the hassles of ta#ing leaves, managing

office wor# and #ids" ;ou can devote your time completely here and then once your #id is

old enough to be left at home or at creche, you can directly join bac#"7

:ow can you counter such arguments, in which even .od is involved"

I really admire parents for their optimistic approach" o matter how hard a situation is they

are always able to find something to cheer about" 'lso, I guess once we grow up they miss

us in their lives, so spending time with their grown up #ids or helping them find a right

partner or waiting for the new arrival in the family ma#e them feel involved in our lives" I

#now its wrong on our parts to become so selfish and not give them enough time which I

am sure we are going to regret once we have our own children to set e(amples in front of


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us-" 'nyways in this current scenario of my being unemployed have given them the perfect

opportunity to get me married"

!huc#sFFFFFFFFF

'nd I slept FFFFFF

"

Chapter &

Home ca##ing

!aturday morning came and so does a thought came in my mind" o matter what happens

morning and night will always follow their cycle of coming and going and then coming again"

I simply love this about nature, be it the seasons, or daynight or festivals"" they always

come again and again in your life giving you hope that all is not lost"

;ou must be thin#ing "" great .od"" philosophy that too in morning"" well I have learnt one

thing in my e(perience"" philosophy comes to me naturally when I am ?be#aar$""" right now

jobless" /r just say that my optimism you will come to #now that this is one virtue I dont

possess in plenty and will be depleted soon- made me thin# about those beautiful thoughts"

I chec#ed the watch, its only G$E cloc#" ;eah, one should not say only"" but once you come

out of engineering college, join job"" sleeping till AE in the morning is another ritual which is

religiously followed by most of us at least" !o getting up at G on a saturday without any plan

or reason is something which calls for serious thin#ing about ?what the hell is wrong with

me$" But guys joblessness does that to you" 'nyways, time for tea and newspaper ;es, I


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do read newspaper" o# o#""" only the bollywood news"" great-" I passed sometime going

through each and every small gossip in supplementary and only headlines of the main

paper"I love gossiping li#e every other person on this planet"" I am girl and this is my

birthright"

I was through with newspaper and was waiting for Ishi#a to get up" ormally on wee#ends

when I am free I prefer watching television, but today somehow I dont feel li#e watching it"

'nd once again thin#ing wheels started rolling" !omeone very aptly said ? #hali dimaag

shaitan #a ghar hota hai$" 'nd this devil sitting in my head is ma#ing me thin# so much in

these past couple of hours which I have not done in so many years" H

'gain and again my mind #eep on going over the things Ishi#a said yesterday" %hought of

marriage has completely engulfed the main reason behind all this happenings in my life" In

one way, it was good only that I am not thin#ing about my job or no job" When only the

simple idea of marriage is giving me creeps, how will the actual thing will be I shudder to

thin#" I was actually considering going home after my parents called yesterday but now I am

having second thoughts about it"

+inally Ishi#a came out of her room, giving me a respite from the the ?shaitan$ sitting in my

head"

94orning Ishi7

94orning" .ot up early today 1 &oo#ing for suitable grooms in the newspaper, are we7

9!hut up" othing li#e that and matrimonials comes on sunday and not saturday"7

9'lready started gathering information on matrimonials7

98ery funny7

9!o whats the plan" &unch at home, then movie plus dinner out or lunch plus movie out,


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dinner at home7

9I guess lets have quic# lunch at home, then lets go out"7 %hat ways I will have less time to

thin#" 4ay be later I will come with some better idea"

9'lright, its AECDE now" &ets target to leave at around ACDE then"7

We were able to leave at D only, and I say its reasonable as we are only little of our target

deadline now dont e(claim when I say little off target, everyone needs time and we even

had lunch-" ow you will wonder as to what is the need to set the target" %his helps us in

moving things a little faster as we #eep on chec#ing our watches"

Whole day went just li#e that" We watched a rom@com while munching popcorn, moved in

and out of every shop of the mall, chec#ed out all the stuff of course which is relevant to a

girl-, purchased nothing, had a nice dinner at the food court and came bac#"

%han#fully I become so dead tired while moving about, that after coming bac# went straight

to bed" 't least I am able to postpone that thin#ing part to tomorrow" I always believed and

still do that if an idea does not stri#e you on thin#ing about a problem in one shot, then you

should postpone it for ne(t day" but of course for applying it, you should be busy enough so

as not to thin# about the problem in first place" I always applied this theory in my personal

and professional life and was quite successful as others always thin# about the solution

beforehand"

But this time I was not so luc#y" %he problem was still waiting me for the ne(t day with no

solution in sight" /nly good thing was that I got up at AE$o cloc#"

6oming out of the room, I saw Ishi#a already having tea and well, reading the matrimonial

section of the newspaper" %his is one of our sunday %< options, loo#ing at all matrimonial


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ads and ma#ing ma#ing fun of them" !eriously some of them are quite funny, sometimes its

better than reading jo#e boo#s"

9:ey you got up" =eading ads ma#e me feel that really all #inds of people are their in

soceity":ear this one out @

Widower, 55, retired, having 2 sons, e(pects beautiful, attractive, affectionate Widow with

o 6hild, from same caste, good communication s#ill, age between D5@E"


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Ishi#a came bac# with tea and some biscuits" :er philosophy tea should never be ta#en

alone and I am fine with it because its adding something e(tra only to it"""" told you I love

eating-

9!o now tell me what have you decided7

9'bout what7

9Whether you are planning to go home or start loo#ing for a job immediately"7

9I seriously dont #now" 3arlier I was thin#ing that going home would be good" I will get a

brea# and rest" I can start applying from there itself and then come down for interview if I

get a call"7

9:mm""" this is a good option" !o what is that stopping from you to do it7

9%he idea you have pushed into my head"" that my parents are thin#ing about me getting

married7

9!ee, this is what I thin# they want but I could be wrong" !econdly even if they are thin#ing

its not that you are getting married tomorrow or as soon as you reach your home" ;ou can

go and tal# to your parents about it" !itting here doing nothing will affect you @ mentally and

physically7

9;eah you are right" I thin# I will go home" I will call my dad and inform him that I am

coming"7

9.reat" ow stop being so sad" %hings always happen for good, you will see that

something good will come out of it"7

I smiled"


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Chapter '

(t home

+inally I left gurgaon and reached #anpur, my hometown" *aipur is a very nice warm city,

warm as in people and also the weather" %here is something different about


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and suffering of the journey vanishes in an instant when you shout from the window, hey

dad here 9

.reat, so reached home"""" aroma of home coo#ed food filled my nostrils as I stepped inside

my house #nowing that my mother will be coo#ing all my favorite food today" I thought I will

surprise her and quietly moved towards the #itchen, but before I could shout she turned and

saw me" ' huge smile on her face"

9!iddhi beta, you are home"" 9 she hugged me and then in another instant, her inspection

started"

9;ou have become so thin"" am sure you people dont eat properly"" and must not be

sleeping on time"" how about mil#"" and full day on laptop am sure"" you people dont listen

to anyone""7

Before she could add anything further, I interjected

96ome on 4a, this could carry on later also" =ight now absolutely famished" I will just go,

freshen up and come bac#7

9'lright alright, you go ahead" I will start ma#ing rotis7

'fter having a lavish meal any meal at home feels lavish after eating tiffin and office food

for months or for that matter even wee#s-, sitting at home I felt rela(ed in days" 6oming to

home always is good and the state of mind in which I am in right now, it feels more

welcome this time"

I started flic#ing through the channels on television, in the meantime my mother came after

cleaning the #itchen"

9/h" Its already D pm" =epeat telecast of ?meri saas chudail meri bahu naagin$ must be


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coming" !iddhi, can you please go to ?forever shows$" I missed yesterday$s episode7

9o#7

I watched it for half an hr and I was already in sync with everything" %his is the best part

about our shows, you can leave it at anytime and join bac# in anytime" ;ou will feel that

you have watched it all along" :ats off to the writers of such shows that even though story

never moves, they have the ability to inspire people to #eep on watching these shows for

years" 4y mother is such an ardent fan of this ?forever shows$" %his particular serial is

coming when I was in school, and though I was growing up completed 2 yrs in school,

moved to engineering college- these people were still at the same age" 'nd suddenly when

I came bac# from engineering college after a month, they aged by 2E yrs" !omehow these

shows can defy the universal law of ageing" &et me not get into more of it as I thin# this is a

subject worth studying and a complete boo# should be devoted to this" I am sure someone

worthy enough will ta#e up this and understand this completely different universe" But I

would li#e to add that I am one huge fan of these shows" %humps up to ? +orever shows$"

=est of the whole day spent in idle chatting and gossiping" I was glad that my parents did

not bring up the topic of either my job or marriage" I guess I was not ready for emotional

tal#ing right now and guess they sensed that"

e(t morning, the first thought which flashed through my mind is that I should go and meet

6hinmay" Is he my boyfriend"" no" !o, 0o I have a boyfriend"" and the answer is no"" ow I

#now your reaction"" come on" you are 25 and no boyfriend""" how is it possible"" are you

not straight or what""lol" &et me answer the last question first"" I am very much straight so

you can be rest assured that this boo# is not about it"" 'nd reason for me not having a

boyfriend is that I thin# friends who are boys after becoming boyfriends can be divided only


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in two categories"" one who clings to you and I hate clingy types seriously- or the other

who li#es you clinging to them""" I have not met any guy who thin#s that 2 people though in

relationship needs their own space"" or even girls can be good at finances or who thin# that

girls could also li#e to indulge in intellectual argument from time to time and not only pure

gossip though that is an intrinsic part of girl nature-"


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going to prepare something for 6hini7

9I had brea#fast at home" 4a will not let me out without having brea#fast7 I smiled"

9Wait here beta"" I will just send him7

While waiting for 6hinmay I flipped through the pages of the newspaper" I could hear aunty

wa#ing him up" 'fter about AE mins, he came out"

9:ey !iddhi"" what a pleasant surprise" 4ummy told me that you came yesterday"7

9;es chini$ I laughed"

6hinmay$s pet name has always been one point for us to fight on" :e hates his pet name

and must have told aunty AEE of times, not to call him by this name" But parenst are

parents and then chini is too sweet to be harsh on his parents for the name" !o he is living

with it, but he disli#es when I call him by this name"

90ont ta#e ?panga$ with me in the morning !iddhi" !o, tell me how are you and how is your

roommate whatever her name is7

9/ho, so you have forgotten her name already" Btw she and her boyfriend both are doing

just great7

9%han# you for the additional piece of information which btw was not required and as#ed

for7

9/ho don$t be sad 6hini"7 I laughed

9oh no no, I am not sad" %his is not a sad face you are loo#ing at" Its just that my facial

muscles all get confused while changing the e(pressions" %his actually is a angry face" ;ou

didn$t have the decency to call me for months while you were in 0elhi" /n top of it no call

after reaching, people do change after moving to big cities"" sometimes what they show on

tv is so right7 :e too# a jibe at me"

9othing li#e that 6hinmay" It was not planned and I thought its better to come and tal# to


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you rather than discussing it on phone7

9What happened" :ave your parents decided to finally wash their hands of their 25 year old

mista#e"7 :e win#ed"

9'bsolutely not, they still have hopes on me"7

9/h ho" nice to thin# li#e that" But I thin# the reason is not the hope, it is to save at least

one more life from your madness7

9yeaah""" very funny"7 I said in a defeated tone"

9:ey, what happened" &oo#s li#e there is something serious which needs attention" !o you

want to tell me about it7

9/f course, why the hell you thin# I am here so early in the morning" What time will you be

leaving for your institute7

I forgot to tell you 6hinmay is preparing for I'!" !ince the time I have #nown him, he

always li#e helping people" Whenever we used to discuss about the unethical happening in

the soceity, he used to feel very strongly about it" :e used to say that we should get into

the system and change it" When he decided to prepare for I'!, I applauded him that at

least he is doing what he preached to everyone" But I am a little s#eptical whether one

person can do anything, but then 6hinmay always say that if we #eep on postponing for

everyone to join then nothing will happen ever" 'nyways that is his outloo# and he is doing

what he thin# is right" %oo idealistic for me all these tal#s"

9o problem" I can ta#e a day off"7

9o"" your classes are important" %ell me what time you will be leaving7

9Whats it with everyone about my classes being important" I can easily tell mummy that you

have something important to tal# about and I need to ta#e a day off" :ave some mercy on

poor soul"7

9:ow can I show mercy1 I am the devil herself in disguise7 I smiled"

94y bad luc#" :ave to ma#e friends with all the people but devil"7


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9;es you poor poor 6hini"7

9o# fine" I have a full day schedule today" &ets tal# tomorrow then" %omorrow my prof at the

institute is not coming, so I was planning on ta#ing leave tomorrow"7

9.reat" %omorrow then"7

9't least tell me what is the issue, so that I can have something to thin# about in boring

lectures to pass my time7

9othing major" *ust some confusion in career" But will tell you in full detail tomorrow" !ee

you tomorrow then"7

9+ine" I will come to your place early morning and then you can tell me7

I guess I am putting off tal#ing about my state of joblessness" 't least I don$t want that

sympathetic loo# from 6hinmay" I am not sure whether it happens with everyone or not, but

whenever I had some bitter e(perience or difficult moment" Its easier for me to ac#nowledge

it in front of strangers rather than acquaintances and worse still with close people" I guess

the reason behind it the reactions we get from different people" !trangers does not give a

damn about you, whether you are falling down from stairs or whether you are being stopped

at red light by policeman" +or them you are just not there or in case if they ac#nowledge

your presence that is only to tell you that you are wasting their time" 'cquaintances will

merely feel sorry for you and ma#e all the tch tch sounds" But close ones, they become sad

because you are sad, they feel the pain, stupidity, helplessness" 'll the emotions with you

and then you feel more responsible for the whole thing" But in the end it always feels good

to tal# to them and share with them" Its just the first barrier of sharing and e(pressing which

needs to be overcome"

Well I came bac# and spent my day with my 4a" :elping her in the #itchen, household

chores which made her very happy and of course watching, discussing, dissecting all the


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characters of our favourite shows" 4others always find happiness in little things you do for

them"

4orning came and along with it 6hinmay" I came out of my room after hearing his voice"

4y mother was scolding 6hinmay for not coming to meet her in my absence"

9.ood that you got up !iddhi" I was just as#ing 6hinmay that why he doesn$t come and

meet us in your absence"7

9!orry aunty" I was busy in my studies but now for sure will ta#e sometime out and come to

meet you7

4a smiled" !he li#es 6hinmay a lot and he is li#e a family to us"

9/# you both tal# now, I will go ahead and finish my morning chores7

9.ood morning sleepyhead" ;ou were sleeping quite late" I thought going to office must

have changed your habits" But loo#s li#e wrong its the other way round" /ffice people must

have changed timings to fit in your sleeping schedule7 :e laughed"

9%here is a limit to something or not" ow people can$t even sleep late on holidays and

wee#ends"7

9Why not, why not" *ust #idding7

9;eah, I #now7

9!o now tell me what is that major thing which has confounded you and made you to ta#e

the sudden trip to home7

9


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9oh is it" wait" W::''''''%%%%%%%%%%7

9ow its too much" But o# better than before" 't least I feel something happened in my life

which needs attention"7

9o#" ow cut the drama" %ell me what happened7

9/#" 4y company was closing down the unit in which I was wor#ing because it was loosing

money rather than ma#ing it" !o instead of assets suddenly we have turned into liability

which needs to be be ta#en care of" 'nd here I am out of job7

9/#" But not to worry" I am sure you$ll be able to find something much better than that" ;ou

are a smart intelligent girl" +inding a new job will not at all be difficult7

9;eah" I guess"7

9o" ot guess, I am AEEJ confident about it"7

9;eah7

9o# but what is the confusion in it" I thin# you are doing the right thing of spending

sometime with your family and ta#ing rest" %hen you can go bac# and start applying"7

9;eah thats true""""7

9Why this trail off" 0o you have something else in your mind7

9ot really7

9%ell me even if its unimaginable or unthin#able" I have such a imagination that i can pull

out a rabit from hat just be thin#ing"7

96an you ever be serious7

9/f course" /f course" What I was trying to say" &et me be the judge of the fact whether

what you are thin#ing is anyway near to reality or completely impractical li#e you7

9!ee there you go again" .od #nows why I even bother tal#ing to you7

9o#" I am sorry" so you tell me what is that you are thin#ing about7

9!ee when I was wor#ing in this company, I was not happy" I #now that I am sad right now

because I lost the job" But I guess its more because I lost the feeling of being independent


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and good paychec#" But if I weigh how much it is actually because of the fact I lost the job,

I guess its almost none7

9o#7

9When I was wor#ing in the company, I used to crib about everything wor#, culture, people,

their mindset, everything" I never found the wor# mentally stimulating, challenging"


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home after I lost my job7

9Wow" awesome7

9whats awesome in it7

9%his completely solves your problem"7

94ay I as# how7

9!imple" ;ou don$t want to wor#7

9:ellllooo, I never said don$t want to wor#"" only I didn$t li#e my previous job7

9o# mam, correction"" you didn$t li#e your previous job and you are not sure whether to join

similare type of wor# or not" !econdly, you want time to thin# about it" =ight17

9=ight7

9!o marry a guy who earns a lot"" so you don$t have to wor# and just spend your time

thin#ing7

9I will #ill you 6hinmay7

:e started laughing"

9:ere I am trying to tal# about such a serious issue and all you are doing is ma#ing fun of

me" ;ou are the limit7

9'nd you too are the limit" ;ou girls have this unique ability of turning a mountain out of a

molehill" :ave you ever thought you parents could be worried about you and called you

home" 'nd anyways eventually you have to marry, so what is the harm in case even if they

want to start searching7

9;eah"" but I don$t want to marry right now"7

9'nyways whats the connection between your parents thin#ing about your marriage and

your thin#ing about your career7

9If I will be wor#ing then there is less chance of me getting married" If I will be sitting idle at

home, then I don$t have any e(cuse to get out of this situation7

"7Wonderful reasoning" but what I will suggest is that you wait till your parents raise the


30/42

topic about marriage unless you are very #een on getting married" =ight now you just

concentrate on finding what you want to do7

9;eah" 3ven I was thin#ing the same" Its Ishi#a only which put all these stupid thoughts in

my head7

9;eah" I #now7 'nd he laughed out loud"

90on$t worry !iddhi, we will thin# of something" &et us both thin# about it and then meet

again to see if we can narrow down to something7

9;eah that sounds good7

9o# then I$ll leave now" !ee you tomorrow in much better spirits7

9I hope se" bye then7

Chapter )

*earing my thinking cap

!eriously people who are able to understand what they want to do are very luc#y" 'nd I will


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say the ones who find their calling at a young age are the true blessed ones" But I thin#

most of the people don$t have a clue about what they want in life or what they really want to

become"

+rom a very young age, we have been instilled with the idea that being an engineer or a

doctor is the only profession which counts" If a child is interested in sports, music or any

other such activity, he is told that it is good to have these things as hobby but one can not

ma#e a career out of it" =eason being simple that it ta#es lot of luc# and hard wor# and

time to start earning or to ma#e a mar# in these fields" Whereas if you are doing

engineering, before even leaving the campus you have a good job in your hand with a

decent salary well salary is directly proportional to the ran#ing of your college-" !o you

come out of college and you are earning such an amount which your father started earning

after AE years into service"

'nd who is not attracted by money" 3veryone tries to remain happy #nowing that on Ast of

every month you will be getting a good deal of money in your hand and you can maintain a

good lifestyle of your choice" 'nd that is the reason why after not being satisfied with the

wor# I was doing, I didn$t left the company" 'nd would have continued to do so for I don$t

#now how long, may be till that point of time when my company would have thrown me out"

!o, why am I thin#ing about it now" I can easily go and do that job again" 3arn money and

a good lifestyle" What the hell has changed in A wee#" /ne thing which has changed is that

now I have a ban# balance"" yup"" I do have some amount"" not grand but I can survive

couple of months without ta#ing help from my parents" Its not that my parents will not give

me money if I as# them, but its so out of fashion these days as#ing your parents to help

you out" 'nd second reason is that I don$t #now how my life will be after marriage, so I


32/42

want to do a little e(ploration before jumping into it" It may be true that I may not find

anything and have to go bac# to the job but at least I will have the satisfaction that atleast I

tried"

I am sure after reading it, you must be thin#ing that I #now what I want to do ne(t" But that

is the problem I tal# big but I don$t #now what I want to do" 'nd that is what the whole

problem is" +inding out what I want to do"

Who said sitting idle, doing nothing, just thin#ing is the easiest job on earth" In fact, I$ll say

that it is one of the most difficult job which becomes more tough when you dont have any

in#ling about from where you should start thin#ing" But then I have ta#en this tas# upon

myself, so I wore my thin#ing capfiguratively- to do it"

I heard somebody saying that the #ey to present lies in the past and though many people

say its better to forget the past" I thought delving into the past to find out what I wanted to

do as a #id, might be the thing I would li#e to do as a grown up too"

!o I started thin#ing hard" 6ome on I was just a #id then, how many memories have one of

a thin#ing #id but yes, one was very prominent and I am sure must be shared by every #id

after watching and reading about superheroes to find out that they too belong to that elite

class of people with super powers and are here to save this world" But soon enough you

realise that you get to #now that its a story and there is no !anta coming to give you gifts"

!o of course we have to move to the ne(t one" !o I started rac#ing my brain again trying to

remember something of substance and then bang" /f course, I should have tal#ed to my

4a" I used to recite everything I wanted to become to her all the time, she must be


33/42


34/42

9/h really" :ow interesting, please do tell me what she wanted to become7

9


35/42

brass trac#s, to the things with in my reach which something I could have done instead of

ta#ing a degree in engineering" %here has to be something which I must have li#ed " In the

past AE years of my life, I have not thought or done anything e(cept to try to reach where I

am right now" In AEth standard, it was a race to get good scores to secure a position in

science stream, then this race become tougher as the number of competitors increased to

secure a position in a good engineering college" It does not stop here, had to maintain a

good overall 6.


36/42

routine stuff" Is that right7

9=ight7

9But you li#e studying and gaining #nowledge and brain storming and thin#ing about it" Is

this correct17

96orrect7

9%hen you have two options" 3ither become a lecturer somewhere or pursue higher studies

and go into research7

9o####7

9:mmm, I can see that these doesn$t sound very fantastic options to you" 4ay I #now the

reason 17

9Well, being a lecturer is too much responsibility and then well money is not so much7

9o#7

9'nd as for pursuing higher studies, I don$t thin# my parents will agree to it" 'ccording to

them, finding a match for a highly qualified girl is very difficult"7

9o#" But if they agree, do you really want to do it"7

9I am not sure"


37/42

6hinmay smiled at her comment, 9ot in near future at least, !o why donLt you come with

me and enjoy other people getting married till then7

9;eah o#" !ure" let me chec# with 4a also once7

9'nd


38/42

something in between those twin#ling forms" !o immersed was he in his s#y ga)ing that it

loo#ed li#e as if he really have found something written there" ight was so still, it seemed

li#e as if it is also concentrating along with him and help him decipher the messages which

are conjured by the moon and the stars" %hat eerie silence which loo#ed li#e it was

emanating from him has enveloped everything, and suddenly it was bro#en by the hooting

of the owl" %hat bro#e his reverie and made him come bac# to the present" Was it really

hooting of the owl or he just imagined that sound"

9o, how could it be owl hooting" In these structures of glasses and concrete, where it is

difficult to find a sparrow, an owl hooting is impossible" !ound must have come from some

movie played by someone downstairs7 he thought"

Its almost li#e a ritual to him, come bac# from office, have food, spend sometime watching

%8 and then come and sit on the terrace" :e sits quietly there, loo#ing at the hori)on"

!ometimes he #nows what he is thin#ing about, but mostly it is a state of thoughtlessness

almost li#e meditation" 'part from these daily rituals, he come on terrace when he is feeling

lonely or sad or when he is very happy" ;es, being alone in the night and with 9:I47" :e

has grown up listening to his motherLs teachings about ./0, tal#ing about him as if he is

there loo#ing at us, ta#ing care of us always" 'nd though most of the teachings are difficult

to implement, he still got the conviction that he is there loo#ing after him but this conviction

has come with a twist" !omehow when he is confined in the man made walls he find

himself separated from 9:I47" Its only when he is out in open with quietness surrounding

him, then only he gets this feeling that yes now he is there loo#ing at him and listening to

him from where ever he is" 'nd ga)ing at s#y helps as they say he is sitting there

somewhere in the heaven" !o its li#e almost face to face communication" ;eah, that sure

sounds cra)y as hell" ' psychic fellow may be tal#ing to himself alone in the nights as he

does not have a anything better to do with his life" &ets not jump to conclusions without

meeting in person, shall we" &et us say that it almost li#e writing a diary e(cept that it is

more a audio #ind of diary without any records"

!uddenly a sound came from downstairs"

9!iddharth, you left your phone downstairs" Its ringing from past A5 mins, man" 6ome

downstairs and pic# it up7


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9/#" 6oming"7

%he phone was ringing at the top of its capability indicating that this time also ringing has

been going on from sometime ringing mode is set to ascending as always-" I wal#ed

quic#ly to find that phone is coming from none other than highest authority in my life, my

mother"

9:ello 4ummy7

9:ello !iddhu" Where have you been, I was calling you from such a long time" o

response, I was worried"7

9%um bhi na, mummy" Where will I go, I was here only" *ust went outside for some fresh air

and forgot to pic# my phone" But you tell me what happened which made you call me AEE

times in A5 minutes7

9AEE %I43!" Would not have called you even AE times" 're you listening !iddhuLs father,

what is your son saying" %his newer generation, first they will not pic# the phone and when

the other person calls again because he is worried than you get to hear this"7

96ome on mummy, cut out this drama" I am sure there must be something" Mya baat hai7

9:umph7

9/# baba" I ta#e my words bac# my dear mother" ow tell me7

9o# o#" !top this buttering up" ;ou #now !harma uncle, the one who is wor#ing in your

0adLs office7

9;es, so7

9:e came yesterday along with his wife for dinner and during conversation tal# of your

marriage came up7

9&o gayi bhains paani mein7 !id thought in his mind but said, 9o#7

9:is brother@in@law is also loo#ing for a suitable match for his daughter who incidentally has

gone to #anpur to attend her friendLs marriage"7

9I don$t li#e the direction this conversation is moving towards at all" I told you n number of

time that I am not interested in marriage right now"7

9'rre, you people" Who is as#ing you to get married tomorrow in the same mundup" 'll I

am as#ing is to just go and meet her"7


40/42

9What a stupid idea" :ow can I go in anyoneLs wedding without invitation7

9;ou donLt worry about that" I have already tal#ed to !harma ji about that" Its a home affair

and he will tal# to his brother@in@law about your going and meeting his daughter there"7

9Whats the problem in meeting her someplace else, li#e over a cup of coffee7

9I don$t want any arguments in this relation !iddhu" ;ou better buy a good outfit to wear

tomorrow" 'nd better ta#e some gift for the wedding couple, don$t go empty handed7

9/f course mummy, I #now that" But can you not please drop this whole idea" 's such I am

not interested in meeting a girl and on top of it I am not ready to go to any wedding

uninvited" Imagine how embarrassing it will prove if someone as# me from whose side I

am7

9'e le lo, what is in there to be embarrased about" ;ou are going there to meet a girl with

the consent of your and her parents" 'nd anyways, if someone as#s you from whose side

you are" *ust tell them from brideLs side7

9Its completely futile discussing anything with you" +ine, I will go7

9!ona beta, #yun ji !iddhus de daddy" I always told you #now that !iddhu will never said

no to his mother7

94ummy, cut out the drama" 'nd tell me how the hell will I recogni)e her and whats her

name7

9ow you are coming to the point7

:e could almost hear his mother smile over the phone"

9:er name is


41/42

9o, we didn$t had any" 'nyways she #nows that you will be coming" 'lso, smsing you her

number, so get in touch with her once you reach there7

9'lright, fine" &et me see, I will confirm my plans by tomorrow evening"7

9o !iddhu, all this will not wor#" ;ou have to go and that$s it"7

9't least give me sometime to thin# about it mummy" Its all so sudden, I don$t even want t

get married right now" 'nd you are as#ing me to go to a wedding tomorrow to meet a girl"

.ive me a brea#"7

9What rubbish" ;ou are tal#ing li#e a small #id" Why you are ma#ing such a big deal about

it" *ust thin# of it as going to a wedding and meeting new people"7

9But please try and understand, I don$t want to go7

9'lright, do whatever you have to do" ow we have become old , who will listen to us" ;ou

people have mind of your own, are well educated, obviously you people #now better than

us7

9+ine, stop this blac#mailing" obody can win in a verbal dual with you" 'lright you win, I

will go"7

9;ou are the best !iddhu" /#" I will call you tomorrow" Bye7

9;eah o#" Bye" .ood night7

'fter the phone call, he just sat there with a blan# e(pression" What can he do" :e was not

able to win any single argument where his mother was concerned" !he always had the

upper hand as she has perfected the art of emotional blac#mail" :e smiled involuntarily

while thin#ing about his mother" 'nd then he reali)ed what he had gotten himself into" :e

has not given marriage a thought till now" :e completed his 6' only last year, thought its

true that he has been wor#ing in this firm for sometime now" But still marriage, thatLs a huge

step" :e understands that with marriage comes lot of responsibility, but he is o# with it" :e

is more concerned with finding the right partner"

9Bullshit !id, you are just passing time thin#ing about all this" :ow will you find the right

match unless you venture out in the open and start meeting people" I thin# mummy is

correct, whats the harm in meeting her" In fact its better that you are getting an opportunity

to meet her alone without thin#ing that parents are sitting outside and may be someone is

eavesdropping or will come with snac#s plate in between of aw#ward question7 he thought"


42/42

9;es, at least he should go and meet her"7

6hapter K

%he wedding

story of siddhi

Documents